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“My sophmore year…” by Amarissa Mathews

My sophomore year in high school, I was outed by my parents.  I wanted to go to the Great America Gay Day, an event held at the local amusement park in Santa Clara. My parents were a bit skeptical to lend me money, but they gave it to me with little questions asked about what the money was for.

The day of the event, I came home from school and went straight to the bathroom. From his room, my dad called to me and asked me to join him and my mother in the living room for a talk. Instantly, my heart dropped. My mother and father live very separate lives: one in front of a television and the other in front of a computer. When they come together, it is never good. I stared in the mirror, terror in my eyes, and prolonged washing my hands for as long as I could. I was sure that they knew.

I walked into the living room and found my mother and father sitting on separate couches. My father asked me if I ever found out what the event was for. I nervously declined. He professed to me that he looked it up online and found out that it was a Gay Pride event. A heavy silence filled the room. My mom inhaled and uncomfortably forced the question from her lips, “Amarissa, are you gay?” A pain struck my heart, and I knew I couldn’t lie. So, I told her the truth.

Amarissa Mathews is a Communication Studies major currently at the end of her third year at San Jose State University. She’s a Resident Advisor on campus who loves to play video games, rock out at concerts, and go paintballing in her free time. 

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