Death Is Never Easy by Jenna Martinez

I knew she was going die. But expecting someone to die is much different than knowing someone is dying.

I thought by the time I found out she was going to die or had passed away, I would be prepared with understanding and acceptance to her death. But somehow I was wrong.

When I found out she was dying, I wasn’t surprised because I knew it was going to happen eventually, especially at her age and with her physical health depleting, but I wasn’t prepared.

I knew she wouldn’t live forever even though it seemed like she already had. But I couldn’t make myself understand nor accept that it was her time to die.

So I prayed and wished, I hoped and begged that she would get better. That she would live a little longer, feel a little better and be a little stronger, but unfortunately she didn’t.

Instead I watched her die painfully and slowly. I didn’t want her to die nor did I want her to give up but as the days passed and she got worse, I knew that dying was better than being alive and suffering.

So I had to force myself to find the acceptance and understanding to let her go. It was difficult but somehow I managed. And even though she is gone today, I still continue to pray and wish, hope and beg for her peace and that I might continue to have the acceptance and understanding to carry on.

 

From Jenna Martinez:

“I am a young girl soon to be graduate of a big university with larger than life dreams of being a writer. I have hopes these writings will impact the lives of people in a positive way.

My name is Jenna Martinez and I am a story waiting to be told, yearning to be read.”