As she held her new baby in her arms, a sense of pride and terror welled up from inside the deepest part of her. Everything in the last nine months had been preparing her for this moment, but still there was an uneasiness about the future. She was on her own — and terminally ill. How was she ever going to provide for this helpless bundle that was now completely dependent on her? After all, she had spent the first six months of her pregnancy homeless and had only kicked the drugs and alcohol nine months earlier, the day she found out she was pregnant. She knew what others thought of her — that she was incapable, unprepared, and selfish for choosing to keep the baby — but she didn’t care; she knew it was the right thing to do. An iron resolve slowly built up from the soles of her feet as she stood with purpose for the first time in as long as she could remember. She would be the best mother she could be, because she felt that she owed it to this tiny victim of circumstance. She would stand with her head held high, because she knew she had to be brave; if not for herself, then for her daughter. She would sacrifice everything if she had to, because she loved this child more than life itself. And in the nineteen years to come, she did just that — fighting valiantly for her life, so her child could live too.
Lynda Ho is a student at SJSU.
The Bolt Magazine 