As humans, we all naturally have thoughts in our heads. We can be thinking of what we want to eat, what plans we should make, daydreaming about something random, or everyday tasks that need to get done. I have these thoughts, but I also have extra thoughts about when I need to get tasks done, how much time I have, whether I will be able to do it, and what if I can’t get it done in time. I try not to overthink simple matters, but I just can’t help it. It eats me alive.
I’m always feeling rushed, thinking of the consequences if I’m not able to get things done right. I feel like I have so much that needs to be done but keep doubting myself that I won’t be able to get it done on time. These unwanted thoughts keep playing and rewinding in my head and I can’t seem to focus on what is going on in front of me, sometimes overwhelming my thoughts so much that I go numb. I forget how to breathe properly, my chest tightens up, tears overflow uncontrollably from my eyes, and I don’t know how to stop these thoughts. I let my thoughts get the best of me and it is too late. I get stuck in hyperventilation. trying to gasp for every bit of air that I can take in. My vision starts to blur. I feel lost. I feel helpless.
The Bolt Magazine 