Life After

by Mark Gervolino

When I die, I’ll either go to heaven or hell. Is it really that simple? Religion has fueled the actions of my family members; I feel somewhat of a disappointment in that regard. I grew up going to church, praying to a higher power, and fearing a heaven or hell ultimatum funded by my decisions. When I was 17 I began to completely disregard any form of religion in my life, lacking any care for it whatsoever. It wasn’t until isolation during Covid that I would stumble upon Netflix’s, “The Good Place”, where an interest was sparked; not for religion, but for what follows after we die. 

Some elements of religion still make a way into my life. In times of concern, my family prays consistently, and I find myself doing the same; potentially to relinquish control to some higher power. I think that not knowing what my decisions and mistakes elicit on the other side worries me, or what effect they’ll have on other people. Then again, would it matter because I’m no longer there? If there’s nothing after life? Questions upon questions stirring internal strife and panic, all for what? To be tallied off on some scoreboard of good and bad deeds? 

This stresses me out and it fucking sucks.

Who knows if this matters, I think I’ll just treat people kindly. Do nice things for others and stop thinking so far ahead. I’ll try to make this my own little “Heaven on Earth” for now.