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Worn-out Joy 

by Isabel Gonzalez

Watching Elena explore the world at the ripe age of seven never fails to put a smile on my face. While everything seems so dull and faded in my almost twenty-one-year-old eyes, the sight of a mere leaf falling from a tree never fails to astonish my niece. 

“Look how big this leaf is, tía! It’s almost as big as my face, look,” she would say as she puts the discolored leaf next to her head for reference. 

“Hmm, I don’t know if the leaf is big, or maybe your head just is,” I would say teasingly, and she would do her best to try to tackle me with her four-foot frame and small, chubby hands. The very hallmarks of youth and innocence. 

My hands on the flip side are bony, worn, and crack every now and then. While they were once used to make mansions with playdough and mud, they now have the occasional burn scar from cooking, ironing, and adulting. 

Through the youthful lens of my niece, she can still feel the thrill of tag and the adrenaline that comes from hide-and-seek. Her mother (my sister) is still her world and in her eyes, she can do no wrong. As far as she’s concerned, heartbreak is being told “no” and the biggest injustice is not getting ice cream for dinner. 

Nonetheless, the world is still new in the eyes of this small little girl. Everybody is kind and worth being friends with. 

And most especially, life is still a fairytale and not something you have to survive.